"You see, the plan calls for you to hijack
planes and fly them into the World Trade
Center and the Pentagon."
"Well, that would certainly hurt, but would
it help? Won't the U.S. just invade wherever
they want? Why not attack them where they
are unwelcome, in Islamic countries?"
"Because! Don't you see? We have to hit
them where it hurts. If we destroy Wall
Street, they won't be able to afford to
dump tons of nuclear waste all over the
people of the book!"
"But isn't the New York Stock Exchange
down the street? What's at the World
Trade Center that we want destroyed?
Or is it just symbolic, like the date?
Fly right over Indian Point Energy Center?
Have you even read Brzezinski? Are you
sure you're not working for Wolfowitz?
Anyway, wouldn't it be more expensive for
them if the world makes them keep that stuff
at home? You want us to die so that our
Muslim brothers and sisters can be poisoned
for 4.5 billion years? What's in it for
me?"
"Don't be silly. You'll get 70 copies of
Playboy in paradise. You'll have to share.
Times are tough all over. Yes, these are
used, too. Now, here is the plan. You, Atta,
you have to handle the wire transfers for
the flight school money."
"OK, but make them small. You know that
in America, every transaction of ten thousand
dollars or more has to be reported to the
Feds."
"Well, actually, at the last minute, we
will require you to receive a wire transfer
of $100,000, right when it will most risk
your exposure, but you can handle it."
"It seems like a setup. And what are you
going to do about the Air Force?"
"Don't be silly. Osama runs NORAD, don't
you know? Allah will make the necessary
phone calls on his behalf, and tell the
Air Force to take a chill pill."
"For a freakin' hour and a half? Even
Osama can't do that! I've studied for five
years; I know every detail of U.S. air
security! I can disable a transponder,
override flight safety control software both
local and remote, and I can slip through
every level of security. And you're telling
me those fighter pilots are going to sit and
watch the attacks on TV? For a freakin'
hour and a half? Those guys do or die.
I've trained with them! What threat do you
think is going to keep them on the ground?
Court martial? Hah. Death? Americans may
be soft, but fighter pilots fear death the
least of all of them. Many of our Muslim
brothers are among the most fearless
U.S. pilots, and would gladly die to
defend America.
And besides, you mentioned exposure.
You know our plan has already been
exposed by Associated Press! I showed
you the clipping! You know that pilots
read the papers. How can we even continue
training after Ramzi and Murad went down?
As soon as they read the word "hijack"
they knew how to prevent this whole thing!
You sure you can pull this off? You
understand that the law requires an
interception within the first fifteen
minutes after a plane goes off course or
loses contact? Even Bush knows this -- he
trained to intercept planes in the Texas
Air National Guard, which is specifically
for domestic paramilitary operations.
According to our estimates, Andrews will
have two full squadrons on strip alert."
"Go with Allah, my son. Osama will
make the necessary phone calls."
Sir Dave 'tmo' Soule